So I have returned to the residence that my boyfriend temporarily share. He has relaized that I do plan on moving out and takes every oppertunity to guilt trip me about it. Trouble for him is that I don't feel guilty about it so he just ends up making me irritated. I am ready to discuss what I see and what I need and what I need to see happen with him to continue on but it seems impossible to discuss anything with the man. He dosen't seem to see anything wrong with making other people be responsible for him. For example: we went grocery shopping yesterday and I was talking about stuff to cook and mentioning what was unhealthy. I'm trying to find my way back into my Weight Watchers regeme. He's statement...."Well since you're leaving it's back to junk food and packing on the pounds for me." WTF? He keeps telling me how we're gonna get healthy, that he wants to lose weight, but what he wants is for me to controll his diet so that he can lose weight and get healthier. But that isn't my responsibility. If he's so self contious and unhappy with how he looks then he should want it enough to change himself.
He mentioned the other day that he figures that since I'm moving out he doesn't need to get counseling like I asked. I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to open my mouth and say, " No, you don't get it. When I said that if you don't get help for your issues I couldn't do this anymore I meant I couldn't be in this relationship anymore." I would prefer it not come to that. I do love him very much but we are not meshing well and if he continues to refuse to acknowledge his ADHD and his depression issues everyone will continue to walk away and give up on him. No one wants to be is care taker, they want to be his partner.
He also seems to feel like everyone in the world is wrong and he doesn't need to change. I snapped at him last night, and I'll admit that I snapped. But then I asked him if he relizes how critical he sounds all the time. His reaction...."I'm so tired of everyone saying I'm crittical when I'm not." So I asked him what we can change. His reply, "Everyone to stop calling me critical." He doesn't even consider the fact that maybe he is critical and he needs to change how he talks to people. It's not his fault everyone thinks he's critical, it's their fault for thinking it.
He mentioned the other day that he figures that since I'm moving out he doesn't need to get counseling like I asked. I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to open my mouth and say, " No, you don't get it. When I said that if you don't get help for your issues I couldn't do this anymore I meant I couldn't be in this relationship anymore." I would prefer it not come to that. I do love him very much but we are not meshing well and if he continues to refuse to acknowledge his ADHD and his depression issues everyone will continue to walk away and give up on him. No one wants to be is care taker, they want to be his partner.
I have known this man for 12 years I have told him everything that I could possibly tell anyone, he knows everything. However he aparently had this down home 1950's idea about my sexuality, to which I do not conform, but he had no idea that I prefer much more variety in my life than that...untill I opend my mouth about some stuff and then poof....I burst his bubble. I'm 26, I grew up in the land of fun and play, not in the land of "spread your legs and think of england." Everything being very cookie cutter gets very monotonous for me. And supprise sopprise he won't talk about it
Oh and I'm about to spend the night with one of his friends so that I can take her to a Dr appointment tomorrow. I'm sure I'll hear whatever he's been saying to people.
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