Alone

I have been needing space to be myself. Space to think about myself. Space to heal. And I'm only able to tackle that one step at a time. My boyfriend wants me to tackle everything all at once. He attacked me last night over a bowl of cereal. I realize I've backtracked in my weight, I know, I also know that it's going to take a lot of changes to put my back on track. But I can only take so much change at a time. So we got in a huge fight and I told him he was mean. He cold have used a positive approach to encourage me, have faith in me, but does he do that? No he does this: "so i geuss your giving on weight watchers and your gona eat everytime ur upset. what happened to the sara i met 9 months ago who was determine to lose weight. you might as well quit going and save your money" and it was under the subject "I give up on you." So in the middle of it all he dresses and walks out. Which may work fine for him, but simply pissed me off some more. So I've been angry and upset at him all day. During the tail end of my final class of the day (which ends at 10pm) I get a text telling me he's not coming home tonight. I asked why not and he said, "Giving u space I can tell u want it." So to stifle the frustration and the fact that I fight alone, and never resolve anything with him because he never tells me his side, he never tells me what he thinks, he never tells me what he feels, nothing, I buried myself in chocolate cake. And tomorrow I go to my first Weight Watchers meeting in months. The irony is not amusing.