December

Well I've made it to the last two weeks of the semester and I'm happy to report that school was a right on the money idea. It pleases me to be in an academic setting with people who have a passion for what I love as well.

The death of my mother continues to be a struggle, made worse by my father. I believe him to be taking a romantic interest in someone and it is something that I do not approve of and in the spirit of frankness fucks with my head. If it's true that he's taking an interest in this woman it would go against everything I believe about love and everything I hope to exist about love.

My BF and I are truly on the way out. I found him talking dirty with another woman and telling

her that she should maybe get on birth control just in case they do anything. And he was gonna meet up with her for a movie and then her place, so I tied him up all day doing things so he couldn't get there, he told her he was at work. She's being just a deceived as he's trying to be with me. I am seriously reliving the demise of my last relationship. So I gathered my things and left the ball in his court with a note telling him he needs to man up and be honest and stop lying and that he knows what I'm talking about. He's so used to playing the victim that I want him to get some balls and break up with me. I know this doesn't work and he knows it doesn't but he wants me to be the bad guy, he wants to be able to run around going, "woe is me, I'm so heart broken, she left me, they always leave me." I want him to empower himself and call the break up.