Well I made the decision to break it off with the man who was making me miserable. Back at the beginning of January but the at the beginning of February I found myself sick and in need of help. He was the only one I had around. So we started hanging our and started sort of seeing one another. Now I'm head long in the same ol' drama I had even though I said over and over again that I was not willing to be in a committed relationship with him at this time. Though he seems not to hear it. I keep telling him that if can not keep seeing me because I won't commit to him that is a valid choice for him but he doesn't want to cut me loose even though I can't give him what he wants. But he is the least of my dilemma right now. What is going on with him is the same o same o. I'm tired of being with someone who is emotionaly manipulative and plays on my feelings to get what he wants. Where I'm stuck is I do think he is a genuine danger to himself, I have been pulled into a corner and cant decide if I should contact his mom or not. How/why did I make this u-tu
rn in life? In the mean time I have apparently been completely oblivious to the adoration of another person in my life. And not only oblivious but it was simply something I would not have considered. However I have to say off the bat that I have been spending a lot of time with him in the past week and have been happy, content, at ease, and completely myself. No walking on egg shells, no being careful of what I say, no criticism, no conflict. But now the dilemma... he's 7 years younger than me. Is this a problem? I don't know. Should it matter? I don't know. Is is it strang? Yes 100% yes. The thing is I've never dated/been with/ considered being with anyone any less than four years older than me. I don't really know what this all means. We have an ease and comfort with one another, there's no faking it, we genuinely have a good time together and now have enjoyed our flirtation with stepping it up a little. This person in my life has lead a much more sheltered existence than me. I am more experienced than him in every way, this is something I've never dealt with, and to be honest I'm not sure how to deal with it. So I would like to say props to the men out there that date down a little and do all of that mental calculating on how much your inexperienced conquest/object of affection can take. I don't know what to do with this. I'm in graduate school. He's just starting college. When I graduated High School he was in 5th grade. When I started 1st grade he was being born. Does it matter?
